So, maybe I don’t hate everything – just most things. I do love me some Harry Potter. Well, I love most of Harry Potter. There were many things that bugged me, but as a whole I thought it was a very solid series.
I used to belong to this awesome HP fansite for adults that has recently self-destructed. I posted many, many rants there about the things that I hated. [sad face, tips 40 for Diagon Alley] This means I get to recreate my rants here and find all new things to complain about!
Look, this post is going to contain spoilers for the series. If you haven’t read them (or at the very least – watched the movies) do yourself a favour and skive off right now.
I had many crazy theories about how the series was going to end, but my favourite was the thought that Ms Rowling had planned the deaths that would happen throughout the series far in advance. Maybe it’s morbid, but I knew who I wanted to die and I was positive that I’d figured it all out. You see, (supposedly) in creating the Philosopher’s Stone, the alchemical process goes through stages of black, white and red.
(I only say supposedly because [to my knowledge] no one has successfully created the Philosopher’s Stone yet, so really everything is hypothetical. I know – this is a series about a school for wizards and I’m concerned about that? I might have problems, but those really aren’t your concern.)
My brilliant idea was that this meant we knew who was going to die as early as the first book – even if we didn’t know all of the characters yet – but I’m pretty sure I didn’t start demanding people pay attention to me until sometime between Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.
In order for Harry to be successful in his battle against Voldemort, he’d have to go into it alone – with none of the parental figures he’d come to rely on to aid him. So…OotP – Sirius Black dies. HBP – Albus Dumbledore dies (if you didn’t already know that Albus=white, I kind of hate you – please stop reading my blog). Once Dumbles was out of the picture, I knew I was onto something and that Rubeus Hagrid was going to eat it sometime in the last volume…if not Hagrid, then at the very least Arthur had to go. The whole Weasley family was just full of red and (being the dad) he was the obvious choice.
Yeah. Let that sink in for a minute.
How wrong was I?! So super ridiculously wrong. [insert another sad face here]
I’m still sad that Hagger lived. I’ve tried and tried to console myself with the fact that Fred died (see what I did there?) and he could technically sit in for the red aspect…but as awesome as “Rapier” is, he was never a father-figure to Mr Potter.
I’m also still bummed about the fact that Harry lived, and don’t even get me started on the stupid epilogue, but those are rants for another day.