In case you haven’t figured it out already, Meg and I are huge fans of the fantasy genre. HUGE. FANS. The saddest part about living your life inside a book is that frequently, the things you read about aren’t really real. With that in mind, we’ve decided to compile a list of things that should be real, but aren’t.
- Phoenixes – We want a phoenix. Seriously. How awesome would it be to have a phoenix as a pet?! Meg composed a little ditty about Fawkes.
and frolics around Hogwarts in a land of wizardry
Harry Potter and Dumbledore loved that little guy
he saved the day conveniently, was always just in time!
Remember when his magic tears saved Harry, close to death
the Basilisk had poisoned him, he’d taken his final breath
then Fawkes, the dear, came swooping in and carried everyone out
he’s so brave that flaming bird, the bravest, without a doubt!
Then Fawkesy magicked Dumbledore away from the Ministry
we never really find out where because it’s not important to the story
then Dumbles dies and Fawkesy cries and flies away while singing
I hope you’ve read the books and blah blah blah blah-ing!
- Dragons – I don’t care who you are, everyone loves dragons. EVERYONE. Don’t argue with me. If you say you don’t love dragons, we’re done-zo.
- Rumbleroar – What? You don’t know who Rumbleroar is? He’s only the amazing talking lion headmaster of Pigfarts School of Wizardry (on Mars)! If you’re a good enough student, he’ll give you a ride on his back.
- Elves - Who among us hasn’t spent multiple hours googling elf names in their spare time? That’s just us? Never mind. Regardless, you know you wish elves were real.
We’ll return to our regularly scheduled Snobbery tomorrow, with a list of things we’re happy aren’t real. Til then!