Trashy Tuesday – An Open Letter to Sookie Stackhouse

(note: this won’t follow the traditional TT theme, it’s not a synopsis or even a review – there won’t be funny pictures or a recap – if that’s what you’re here for, you might want to stop reading now.  :) )

Sookie -

Oh, poor poor Sookie.  I feel like your author has let you down.  I once turned to your books for a fluffy weekend read, knowing they were trashy but nowhere near worthy of being featured here.  I don’t know what happened, maybe it’s me?  It’s not like I ever gave any of your books more than three stars.  They weren’t fantastic, but they were entertaining, damnit.

Not anymore.

I’m not entirely sure why I’m supposed to care about the mundane reality of your day-to-day life.   Like, really?  How many times do I need to read about your trips through the Sonic and Taco Bell drive-throughs?  Do I really need to read about why you like to let your hair dry in the sun?  How about cleaning the kitchen and making dinners and desserts?  Where do I put my foot down?

Turns out, it’s right here.  You weren’t entertaining this time, Sookie.  You.  Were.  Boring.

[sigh]

[waves goodbye sadly]

I’d like to say that I’ll miss you, but the truth of the matter is I probably won’t.  The main reason is that I can no longer remember what I found so engaging about your character in the first place.

It’s not me.  It’s you.

xoxo,

sj

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62 thoughts on “Trashy Tuesday – An Open Letter to Sookie Stackhouse

  1. Love the way you end this letter. I haven’t read any of these books, ever. I did watch a few episodes of the HBO show but even that I wasn’t totally obsessed with. And now, thanks to your blog I won’t even try.

    • The first 5 or 6 books were decent. Not ZOMG READ THIS NAO amazing, but “spend a day with something you don’t have to think about too hard” good.

      It feels like the author has either stopped caring OR she had the last few books already written as novellas and decided to flesh them out with nonsense to meet her word count.

      Stay away, or if you’re looking for something in a similar vein (HA! Punny.) try Gerry Bartlett’s Glory St. Claire series.

  2. I didn’t even care enough to GET the newest book from the library. I don’t even remember what happened in the last one. Just don’t care anymore. At all. Blech. I used to love them, too. Oh, well. I like the show, but mostly for the eye-candy. Oh, and Jessica. And Pam.

    • I’ve never actually watched the show. It’s not on Netflix and I don’t have many opportunities to watch soft pr0n (or pr0n of any kind, really) with all the younglings and/or my dad liable to come walking in at any time.

      A lot of people I know who’ve given up on the books say the show is better. Maybe I’ll give it a shot sometime.

  3. I confess I only read the first one, liked it a lot, and then watched a lot of True Blood (which I also liked). But as a snarky copy editor, I thought they exhausted the cleverness of using “dead” in the titles very early on.

  4. First – yay! blog post! Second – the only good thing about those books is the name “Sookie Stackhouse,” But, only because it’s funny in the way putting together the name of your first pet and the first street on which you lived to decide your porn name is funny. Mine is Snuffy Cove. You know. In case you were wondering.

  5. I’m also in the “haven’t read the books, saw a few episodes of the show” camp. Sooo trashy. I had to stop because there was this brain explosion of “Hey, it’s Anna Paquin. Wow, Anna Paquin has grown up to be a sexy little minx… GAAAHHH, the little girl from The Piano is naked!!! Is this sexy?? Am I a monster??” And then the therapy.

    • You know, for a long time I thought she was Vada Sultenfuss from My Girl and didn’t care enough to find out that it was the wrong Anna.

      A few months ago, Heather was all set to watch the show, and I told her “um…you’re definitely gonna want to make sure the kids are in bed and the volume is turned down – and even then, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to like it.” I was right, of course.

  6. I have purchased the latest but have yet to read it…I was SO disappointed with the last one – in fact I was left scratching my head thinking ‘what the hell was that?’…so I’m not feeling exactly inspired and your open letter has clinched it…I LOVED the fluffity fluffiness of a good Sookie book (#4 *drool*) but now you’re telling me the cotton candy has lost it’s appeal altogether?! *Sigh*…Jill

    • I still can’t even remember what happened in the last one! I was so glad for the brief recaps, but I still wondered if I’d actually read it several times. [sigh]

    • Yeah, #4 was definitely the best. It was nice to see that Eric Northman ended up being the one with all the character arc in the whole series. Love him. Team Eric. But that’s mostly helped along at this point by the show. Yay Alexander Skarsgard.

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  9. You were right on the money with the letter, but the comments just made it truly awesome. Dead Again with Brannagh… I can’t even. I’ll probably keep reading them though, always hoping to get a little glimpse of amnesia Eric back. Also, they have a train wreck feel – can’t look away, so terrible.
    (yes this is late, I’m catching up after my end of semester inundation)

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