Review Haiku for Those with Short Attention Spans (now with mini reviews!)

Once again I find myself falling behind on reviews.  I read faster than I feel like writing, I guess.  While the last review haiku was somewhat successful, I decided I’d rather give myself a little more space to talk about these books.  I liked them ALL (inorite?), and don’t really want to shortchange with just 17 syllables. IN READING ORDER!

(Oh, and click on the pictures if you want to be taken to the book on goodreads)

~o~

Find a faerie egg
Make a  deal with the devil
Rescue the dragon

A Series of Ordinary Adventures by Stevie Carroll (recommended by Susie over at Insatiable Booksluts) is probably the best book of short stories I’ve read in FOREVER.  Honestly, I’d kind of given up on short fiction, cos it’s not really my bag usually.  This, though?  This was totally my thing.  Yes, not every story was totally mindblowing,  but there were only one or two that just didn’t click with me.  The three I mentioned in the haiku were THE BEST.  Highly recommended.

~o~

Biff was friends with Josh
We mostly call him Jesus
Poor Biff, no gospel

So, Lamb:  The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore was another book recommended by Susie.  It reminded me SO MUCH of Tom Robbins that I was predisposed to love it immediately (but, in case you’re wondering, not in a bitey way at all).  If you’re a Robbins fan, pretend Switters was BFFs with Jesus, and you’ll kind of know what it’s like.  The book chronicles the missing periods in the life of Christ, told from Biff’s point of view.  He’s been brought back from the dead just to tell his story, and he’s pretty unhappy that there’s not one mention of him in the Bible.  Look, if you’re able to accept the possibility that Jesus studied ninjutsu and bugged his bestie for details about what it was like being with a woman…you’ll probably like this book.  If that sounds too blasphemous for you, give it a pass.

~o~

I would totally
be a walking advert for
Pom or Ocean Spray

Moxyland by Lauren Beukes  is one I still haven’t really made my mind up about.  It’s set in the (all too) near future, and corporations have just started hiring up-and-coming artists to be walking advertisements for them.  The kids are injected with nanotechnology that keeps them healthy and young, but their brand is emblazoned across some highly visible part of the body.  Oh, and they’re then addicted to the soda they’re walking billboards for.  The story isn’t just about that, though, it’s also a fairly apt prediction of where our smart-phone crazed culture could be heading.  Fairly scary to process, but my main problem was a lack of ability to connect with any of the characters.  Not bad, not by any stretch, but not my favourite, either.  I will still read the author’s other book because Kate told me to.

~o~

We’ve read the same books
and watched all the same movies
Heh, Electric Sheep

Okay, so this one was pretty damn awesome.  I’m really grateful to the folks at Angry Robot for the eARC for a few reasons (it comes out on July 31st).  I definitely would have read this on my own, so it’s always nice to get something early (for free!) without having to resort to less than legal means.  The story moves quickly, the world-building is great and I was totally invested in Amy the Von Neumann machine (self-replicating [iterating] androids) and her story.  HOWEVER – if I had paid for this I probably would have written an angry letter to someone about it.  Not because the story made me mad, but because there is NO MENTION MADE ANYWHERE that this book should come with a trigger warning.  Seriously, it needs one.  Of course, not everyone has the same reactions to descriptions of abuse and pedophilia, but there are enough people out there who DO that I feel it’s definitely worth a mention.  It’s not even a huge plot point, but even trying to remain impartial, I’m pretty sure it dropped at least half a star in my own personal ratings because of it.  So – here you go, guys – if you’re able to divorce yourself from the story enough that brief mentions of the scenarios I brought up above will not bother you, do yourself a favour and read this.  If you DO have problems with that kind of stuff, you should probably skip it.

~o~

Zombie Mafia
Rebel Zombie Alliance
Hilarious, right?

I read the first book in this series by Diana Rowland (My Life as a White Trash Zombie) last fall, and loved it.  Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues picks up shortly after that one ended.  Not gonna lie, it felt like it was pretty slow to start.  I had a hard time getting into it until about the 60% mark.  That’s not to say that the beginning was bad – it was just…slow.  Slow, slow, slow.  Even the stuff that was supposed to be exciting and ZOMG DRAMA! wasn’t enough to get me into it.  BUT THEN!  Then there are zoldiers (heh), and the aforementioned zombie mafia and it just got so much better.  I loved it for the last 40%.  LOVED.  Read the first one and see if you like it.  If so, keep reading.  I’m looking forward to the third book, which is supposed to be out next year.  Yay, more cool zombie stories!  Shut up, Kate, I’m allowed to still like zombies.  <.<

~o~

[sigh] pretty cover
you’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re
not  (carpet noodle)

I LOVED this.  I read the whole thing in less than 24 hours (even with [not enough] time to sleep/eat/take care of the younglings) and was NOT HAPPY when it was over.  Why was I not happy?  Because I wanted to keep reading!  Luckily, I have the eARC of Mockingbird on my reader already and I will probably start it when I’m done writing this.  This is another one that Kate made me read, and I’m the most glad she did.  [sigh]  I have read SO MANY reviews castigating this book for not being YA (um…was it advertised as such?  No, it wasn’t, so that’s your problem not Chuck’s), for being “too violent” (“MOAR VIOLENCE!” says this girl), for having no plot (what?  did we read the same book?), for being “too gross” (again, not too gross, but maybe I’m desensitized?  Dunno) AND FINALLY for being “dicklit.”  I’ll admit, the last one had me checking my pants to make absolutely certain I was the same gender I’ve always thought I was.  I don’t know, as I said when I was reading, it reminded me SO MUCH of a paranormal version of True Romance (one of my favourite movies EVAR) that I fell hopelessly for it almost immediately.  Dark?  Yes, absolutely.  Hilarious?  Yes, also absolutely.  If you can not run screaming after the first few pages (which I’ll even link you to on Amazon so you don’t come yelling at me if it’s too much for you), you’ll love it.  Or…I loved it.  So, I hope you’ll love it too because everyone knows I’m always right.  Right?

Tags: Books, Christopher Moore, Chuck Wendig, Diana Rowland, Haiku, Humor, Lauren Beukes, Madeline Ashby, Stevie Carroll