I’m sure you all remember a few weeks ago when Meg and I both raved about Justin Robinson’s Mr Blank (OUT TODAY!). Well, we were lucky enough to strong arm snag an interview with the Reagan-coiffed Mr Blank himself, sometimes known as Rabbit. While it’s difficult interviewing someone without a face, I think we rose to the challenge magnificently.
If we wanted a job/jobs like yours, what would be the best place to start? Is it still Craigslist, or is everyone on to that now?
So you’re looking for a job that pays like crap, half the people you meet are psychotic monsters, and most everyone treats you like something their dog squirted out on the neighbor’s lawn? Why not just work in an office?
Okay, fine. Craigslist still works, though the code has gotten a little more elaborate. And don’t respond to anything that takes you to a rest stop, unless one of your hobbies is being murdered. Almost anyplace that posts jobs will have something. Look for things like courier, security, gofer, and things that sound kind of vague. But not too vague. That’s how you get shoved into a shipping container and sent to one of those countries with child soldiers.
So, which did suck worse – Voyager or Enterprise?
It’s bad form to speak ill of Bakula, but I’m going to do it anyway, if only so he’ll leap into my body and somehow make me president. Enterprise sucked so much worse and we knew as soon as that theme song kicked in.
We learned from our peep into your trunk that you carry around 17 copies of Thermidor [Sandman #29] with you, but it’s never explained why. What’s up with that? Gaiman fetish, or…?
Ever been to LA in the summer? It’s hot. Besides, enough copies of Sandman are like passports now that Downtown has gone hipster.
Something we really wanted to know about, but don’t think you ever touched on – what REALLY happened to Elvis?
It has something to do with the infield fly rule. I’m unclear on the specifics.
Are you SURE there aren’t any vampires? Like, really truly?
I hate you so much right now.
Which was more terrifying – the LGM or the chupacabra?
Well, chupacabras only eat you. The Little Green Men turn you into a hand puppet that begs for death.
We’re still kind of dying to know your real name. Hints, please?
It rhymes with “orange” or possibly “silver.”
Based on – um…certain events in your narrative, it’s fairly obvious that the moon landings actually DID happen, right? Why do you think there’s such a conspiracy buzz around them still today?
Because they were faked. Sort of. See, what we saw on television weren’t the actual images from the moon. Those were filmed later out in Utah in the same desert where they filmed The Conqueror. The reason they didn’t show the real footage is because the aliens were actually waiting for us in a scene that was sort of halfway between that episode of The Brady Bunch where they go to Hawaii and The Thing.
To close, we’d like to know your favourite conspiracies that are 100% false and your favourite conspiracy that is actually true.
Nothing in this world is 100% false except the statement “Deliverance is an awesome date movie!” I guess the closest thing to a false conspiracy is the Mars face. By now, you should be well acquainted with pareidolia, and that’s a pretty clear-cut case of it. Well, all except the thing’s hat, which NASA keeps cropping out of images.
My favorite true conspiracy? Oh, that’s easy. New Coke.
~o~
Now. The fun part. You can go purchase your own copy of Mr Blank today over at Candlemark and Gleam (paper or digital!) OR you can try your chances at winning a DRM-free eCopy in the format of your choice RIGHT HERE!
In addition to receiving a copy of this fabulous eBook, you’ll be getting a chance to win something even better.
“What could be better than that?”
Let me tell you. The copy of Mr Blank you’ll be receiving will be the special Limited Fnord Edition eBook. There are five “fnord”s hidden in the text. Find them all and email Candlemark and Gleam to be entered into a drawing to win an eReader in February! Make sure to follow their blog for more information as it gets closer to the date.
How to Enter:
First, you need to either have subscribed to us, or be a regular commenter. Then all you have to do to enter the drawing for the eBook (Did I mention it’s DRM-free? LOVE that!) is leave your favourite conspiracy theory in the comments. On Tuesday, Oct. 30 at 12 pm EDT I’ll put all eligible names into The Hat and announce the winner.
Want More Entries?
For a bonus entry, tweet about this post and let us know in a comment reply to yourself. For a FURTHER bonus entry, share this post on facebook or g+ and post a screenshot in a comment reply to yourself (or if you don’t want to post your real name in the blog comments, you can just email the screenshot to us at dodisharkicorn @ gmail .com). So easy!
