This is the kid that did “kung fu moves” while decorating the tree last year.
Me: Hey, we should write letters to Santa, shouldn’t we?
6y/o: YES! Here’s a pen!
Me: No, I meant you should write it.
6y/o: Santa can’t read my handwriting. You write for me, please?
Me: Well, since you said please.
Me: Okay, how do you want to open this? You can’t just say “Bring me ALL THE THINGS!” Santa likes it if you’re polite when you’re asking him for things.
6y/o: I don’t think Santa cares about that.
Me: …
6y/o: Just in case.
Me: Wait, don’t you think “very good” is a bit of a stretch?
6y/o: Are you saying I HAVEN’T BEEN VERY GOOD? MOMMY!
Me: No, I’m just saying that might be overkill. Also, “please bring me-”
6y/o: Mommy, you can write your own letter. This is mine, okay?
Me: Fine.
Me: Wait, like those web shooters you got a few years ago for your birthday that ended up ALL OVER the ceiling fan?
6y/o: Yes. Those were the best. Tell Santa I want 2.
Me: I think that’s implied by “shooterS,” don’t you?
6y/o: Yeah, I guess.
Me: Okay, what else?
6y/o: A new Spongebob punching bag. Since [7y/o] BIT A HOLE IN MY LAST ONE.
Me: Are you trying to get [7y/o] in trouble with Santa?
6y/o: NO! … Okay, maybe.
Me: How about we just write a new punching bag?
6y/o: Okay, but I don’t want Spongebob anymore.
Me: All right, what next, dude?
6y/o: I want a remote control car that has REAL working headlights.
6y/o: Mommy! That doesn’t say REAL.
Me: No, I know, but Santa will figure it out.
6y/o: I don’t think he will.
Me: Will you trust me on this? Which one of us knows Santa?
6y/o: [dubious glare]
Me: Come on, can we finish this up, please?
6y/o: Fine.
6y/o: No. I said TOY STORY 2. I don’t see a 2 there.
Me: You know, if you wrote this yourself, you wouldn’t have to worry about me getting it right.
6y/o: No, I guess that’s okay. Will Santa know that Toy Story 2 is my favourite?
Me: Of course he will!
6y/o: Okay.
Me: What? You don’t even WATCH that show anymore!
6y/o: I know but [sister] does! If I ask Santa for something that is for HER then he’ll bring me more stuff because I’m being so nice.
Me: I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, bud.
6y/o: Too late, you already wrote it!
Me: [sigh] What else?
Me: Dude. I’m pretty sure if Santa brings you that, you won’t be getting much else.
6y/o: I know, that’s why I asked for a bunch of little things first. If the thing I want the most is last, that’s what Santa ALWAYS BRINGS.
Me: You’re too tricksy for your own good.
6y/o: I know, I am the BEST at letters to Santa!
Is anyone else already tired of the holidays?
You have awesome kids. It ALMOST makes my biological clock not be broken.
Mine too! If I could get some kind of guarantee that mine would be like teh Popqueeniespawn, I’d be off to get knocked up right away!
Heh, this was a SUPERSRS discussion and frivolity was NOT ALLOWED.
Too brilliant.
I know. I totally <3 this kid (and would even if he weren't mine).
Bahahaha! I want to buy him a Christmas present because that kid is awesome! Very clever, asking for something for his sister
I KNOW! He’s so sly.
I can’t wait until Little Girl will start writing letters. Judging from how her mind works so far they’re going to be very creative!
I hope you’ll share them with us!
This is so adorable! I love kid logic!
So do I! He cracks me up consistently.
So true!
It’s not just you. I feel like a rock in a raging stream, worn down constantly. I do like the way he thinks. Santa will, too. I know him.
Yeah, I know Santa too. I have a feeling he’ll be giggling over this conversation.
I, also, would like web shooters. Really, though, who wouldn’t? I mean… web shooters.
They are seriously awesome. But then things like this happen with them:
Are web shooters very different from silly string?
They are, like, these glove/wrist thingies that shoot silly string. Click
I want some! And of course you need two!!!! You can’t just get one web shooter! How are you supposed to swing from webs/trash your parents’ ceiling fan with just one web shooter?
This was just delightful, delovely and delicious. Get the kid everything he wants.
I couldn’t ask for another! I-I-I-I couldn’t ask for another!
Suck it up.
You’re pretty good at this! Will you help me write my letter to Santa too?
Yes! Come over (bring drinks).
Isn’t that always implied?
I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength.
That’s my secret nephew! What a smart kiddo! I used to do the SAME THING, only my final thing was always “a dog” and every year I’d like “WHERE IS MY DOG SANTA NEVER LISTENS!!!”
Someday I’m getting myself a dog. Too bad, Santa, I’m tired of waiting!
Aw, Santa! BRING AMY A DOG!
so cute!
Thanks!
That was amazing! Plus, I learned some good santa-letter-writing strategy. Really, I’m dying of cuteness.
He is way cute. And he charms the pants off of everyone he meets. Not literally.
Me: Will you trust me on this? Which one of us knows Santa?
6y/o: [dubious glare]
Best conversation ever. Kids are awesome.
Hee! It was a REALLY great conversation. I’m sure he’d be so mad if he knew I told everyone about it.
Either that, or WAY PLEASED with himself.
“Whaaat, but Mooom, that was a private conversation with Santa! Now everyone will want to try my secret ask-for-something-for-your-sister technique (and also Santa will catch on)!”
Wow. Your letter writing session with your Spidey afficionado was way more productive than my letter writing session with mine. Kudos!
hahahahahahaha! I know this probably shouldn’t be as funny for me as it is, but I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! This was actually the easiest Santa Letter session I’ve ever had.
Even if it felt like it took forever.
Yeah. We have to redo ours tomorrow. Not sure how that’s going to go, but it’s not like we can forgo the exercise!!
This has gone on my Facebook wall, and I do not do that lightly. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week.
Awwww! Thank you so much. That is such a huge compliment and I WILL TAKE IT! <3
Reblogged this on Things My Children Said and commented:
A post has to do something pretty special for me to want to reblog it. This one fits the bill. This is what you should be reading today.
cute…
Thanks! He’s a sweetie.
Yay for FP!
<3
Congrats for being Freshly Pressed!
Thank you!
Your kid sounds like mine SUPER SMART ;P
Hee! Indeed, they are.
I have a six year old too and I have had to hear about Christmas at least three times a day for a week now. These next five weeks are going to be LONG.
Yes! This time of year is really rough with the repetitive tendencies of our younglings, isn’t it?
Yes! I wouldn’t mind but she doesn’t know what she wants either so Santa is going to have to guess everything.
Awww, the punching bag he was talking about (that the older brother bit a hole in?) was one of those “Well. Santa has no effing clue because your list kinda sucked, kid” presents. Luckily he loved it.
That makes me feel better, thank you!
Any time!
BTW, I visited your blog and we have a lot of books in common (well, mostly the Jasper Fforde! I always giggle gleefully when I find another Fforde ffan).
Surprisingly, I only read it because it was a class assigned book but I loved it. I really need to read more.I have the second Thursday Next but haven’t got around to it yet. It’s on my “to read” list.
Your blog has made me want to blog so I’m in the process. Thanks for the push! I suck at blogging.
If he is trying to pull those mind games on Santa, I wonder what tricks will he pull out on girls in about ten years!!! LOL
Oh no! I can’t even think about that yet! Our oldest is 13, and he’s already got all the girls interested in him. [sigh] I am NOT READY for this.
Cool! Getting girls interested in oneself is not something I was ever good at, least of all at 13!! Kudos to your kids, patience to you!
Oh, man. That kid…it’s been happening pretty much his whole life. It’s weird for me (always the weird kid growing up) having a semi-popular kid.
He’s really a cool kid, though. I’m way proud of him and the fact that he is comfortable remaining an individual.
My kids like to add to their lists every year, well after the cutoff. But there’s so much fun in writing them. Love this. Great to see you on FP!
Thanks, Karen! My kids do the same thing. “I know we sent our letters to Santa two weeks ago, but NOW I NEED THIS!”
That was awesome. Like,kick over a garbage can and do a rebel yell kind of awesome.
That kid is Christmas-list-writing comic gold!
By the way, thanks for the Christmas ideas (web shooters, THAT’S WHAT I WAS MISSING!
Yes, everyone needs web shooters. Everyone. I think the world would be a much happier place if we all went around shooting silly string at everything.
You do not know how much I wish you were my mother.
* apologizes for creepiness*
HA! I have four kids already. I am not sure I could handle another.
I’m so sorry that I missed this the first time around – but so glad that I saw you on freshly pressed. I wish I could come up with an appropriate Monty Python congrats, but I’m empty today. You knew you’d be posted up there some day.
Thank you, Heidi!
I’ll just pretend you posted this, ‘kay?
Ok. I’m pretty sure that was exactly what I was thinking about.
I thought it might be.
Reblogged this on Aspiring Drummer and commented:
So beyond adorable!
Love it!
Awww, thanks!
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lol this post was great and truly worthy of freshly pressed
Aw, thanks so much!
ERMAGERD You’ve been Fershly Persed!!! Finally! Congrats, lady!
I had way given up on it ever happening. Thanks, Emily.
What a cute smile on 6y/o! Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you! He is a pretty handsome little dude.
cute
This is helarious C:
I can’t take all the credit. The kid is excited because he gets to be famous for a day.
Haha fair enough! I sent the link to this post to my Mum and she’s like “I don’t get it…” I’m like “jasdfghjkl! How can you not?!”
That is one brilliant 6 year old. I completely lost it after the Toy Story part, too effing hilarious! And congrats on the FP!
Thanks so much! He really is so smart and funny, I wish I’d videoed the conversation so everyone could see his facial expressions.
yes, pls try to make video the next time…
This is adorable. Congrats on FP!
Thanks so much! Your screen name makes me smile.
so cute
Thank you! I think he is, too.
This is great – really put a smile on my face.
I’m so glad!
Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.
that is one of cutest posts I have ever read!
Aw, that made me smile. Thank you!
Reblogged this on Rajnie's Blog and commented:
I want to be a kid again for this Christmas. Cheers!
Don’t we all? Thanks for re-blogging!
This really brightened up my stay-in-pajamas black friday. I reblogged it-hope i credited it properly!
Thanks so much! I’m not leaving my house AT ALL today!
Hahaha this is hilarious and adorable. Sounds like he’s already a pro at the ‘foot in the door’ technique.
He so totally is! Husband and I have a very hard time saying no to him. He’s just so much better at it than the other kids. I don’t know if I should be proud of that fact.
The other day my eldest was in such a bad mood after a telling off, she turned to me and said “I hid MY Christmas list” so I turned to her and said “well that’s one thing less I have to stress about” yes I am sick of it already… I wish there was a fast foward button to the New Year…Bah humbug
I have to endure the pen….circling everything on the page while she mutters “I want that and that and that and that and that and that ” page after page
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Congrats sj!
and this was quite the hilarious post. “Are you sure Santa will know what you’re talking about?!?” 
Santa is ON IT. Seriously, that dude is amazing.
Last week I watched “The Dust Bowl Years” on PBS… All I want for Christmas I already have
I haven’t seen it, but I have heard that it was fantastically done (and very sad). What a great attitude to have.
Look at you all freshly pressed! Congrats.
He’s a cute kid, and this makes me wonder what I used to write in my letters to Santa.
Thank you, Nicolle! I wish I still had my letters, too. Especially the one where I said “Dear Santa, I haven’t been good – don’t bother bringing me anything.”
This is probably my last year where they don’t yet grasp who Santa is. Can’t wait to start writing the lists
Heh, my 13 year old KNOWS but refuses to say anything in case he stops getting gifts.
Such a cute post!
Thank you! He’s asking me today if he’s still famous.