Christmas Songs that (I) Don’t (Think) Suck

I know.  Normally at about this time I’d be doing a Naughty and Nice list for the year, but I’m tired and have had some wine and don’t feel like talking about that stuff.  Nope. Instead I want to talk about something else.  Christmas music.

Mrs Claus with the Naughty List

It’s ubiquitous.

If you’re anything like me, you hate it.



Luckily, I’m here to share a handful of holiday songs with you that won’t leave you wanting to slit your throat with the nearest, sharpest piece of fake mistletoe.

1. The Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping

Preeeetty sure you all know this one.  That’s okay!  For years and years this was one of two Christmas songs I could tolerate without wanting to start stabbing people in the face.  It still makes me happy.  Even though it’s overall kind of depressing.

Oh, and this video makes it even better.

2. Billy Mack – Christmas is All Around

In addition to hating Christmas music, I hate Christmas movies.  Well, most of them.  I don’t hate Love Actually, though (and our drinkalong a few weeks ago was AMAZING, if you missed it, I feel sorry for you).  Bill Nighy as Billy Mack’s parody-ish version of The Troggs definitely makes the list of songs that get me in a holiday mood.

3. DJ Miko ft Marcie – My Chimney

I heard this song ONCE eight years ago on a local indie station.  If they said who did it, I missed it.  But I’ve sung it to myself every year since then, and google searches of the lyrics I remembered turned up nothing.  NOTHING.  Until last night.  When I found it.  And it was pretty much the inspiration for this entire post.  Bonus song, Hey, Mr Santa.

4. The Vandals – Oi to the World

Yes, No Doubt covered this song, but I HAAAAAAATE that version.  I have issues with No Doubt, anyway, but mostly it’s cos there’s NOTHING LIKE  a Vandals Christmas show.  Nothing.  Like.



5. Run DMC – Christmas in Hollis

Hands down, this is my favourite Christmas song of all time.  It just isn’t the holiday season without multiple listens of this song…and my failed attempts at rapping along.  Cut me some slack, I’m prolly the whitest white girl you’ll ever meet.

But for srs.  Best.  Christmas.  Song.  Ever.

Now.  You tell me what songs you listen to to get you in the holiday spirit.  Maybe you’ll change my mind!  Maybe there will be more than five songs I like after all!

Excitement and Adventure and Really Wild Things

Today is probably my favourite holiday.  Shut up!  Towel Day IS SO a holiday!  I’m all ready, and everything – I stole this towel poncho from my 7y/o so I have a hood and it still does all the necessary towel-y things.  I rule.

Towel Day

No, really. It is a towel. AND A PONCHO! WITH A HOOD!

Confession: I don’t handle rejection well. I’m not talking about myself (cos that’s a whole different story; when you grow up the tall, awkward, smart, not pretty, geeky one [sidenote - where the hell was this acceptance of geek culture when I was growing up?!] you grow used to the fact that few people will GET you, and that even fewer will genuinely open their arms to what you feel makes you, you), but about the things I love.

I’m cool if you’ve never read Douglas Adams, really. I will probably wonder WTF rock you’ve been living under your entire life, but I can totally accept that and will probably try to non-sneakyfucker-y coerce you into reading them. “WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME, THIS IS MY FAVOURITE BOOK EVAR!!!!!!11111!!!ONE!!!!1″

It kind of kills me inside to hear that there are people who actively hate The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, though. If you tell me you hate these books, I will look at you like you’ve grown Zaphod’s second head and shudder like you’ve given off a distress signal showing just how far from home you actually are.

And then, even if I try to suppress this feeling, it’s pretty inevitable that I won’t want to be your friend anymore.

I know, I know – this is a total character flaw. But if you hate something I love with a goodly portion of my heart, I will first wonder what’s wrong with you, then wonder what’s wrong with me, then wonder why we should even bother, cos it’s obvious you will never get me.

If you’re still reading, I’m going to assume that you at least DON’T HATE the work of Douglas Adams (and if you do, this post isn’t really for you, anyway) and that you’re interested in reading my ramblings (like I did last year, but different).

I even have a surprise for you, with a story that goes along with it (of course there’s a story, when do I NOT have a story?).

I’ve talked about my friend K. before.  She and I were super tight my senior year of high school, and then for a few years after (and we found each other again through social media recently).  When I was pregnant with my oldest, she would come hang out with me while my husband was at work, and we’d mostly just sit around and talk about books, music, whatever – or we’d go to shows or the movies, basically just the normal stuff that friends do.

One day, we were sitting in my kitchen, and she was drinking rum (I can totally picture her sitting there with her drink to this day) and we were laughing about…something.  Something that reminded me of The Guide, but she hadn’t read it and didn’t get my joke.

So I grabbed this off the shelf,

The Guideopened to the pertinent section, and started reading.  By the time I finished those few pages, she was laughing her ass off, and then made (what I thought at the time to be) an unusual request.

She asked me to start from the beginning.

“Wait, what?”

“Read me the book!”

“You’re drunk.”

“No!  Well, yes!  But still.”

So I did.  I started at the beginning and every time she came over, I’d read a little bit more.

I think we made it through the original trilogy before oldest child was born, and there was suddenly a lot less time to spend reading out loud – don’t get me wrong, I totally read The Guide to the kid while he was tiny.  There just wasn’t enough time in the day to spend working my way through the rest of it with her.

This is the section of the book that I read to her to pique her interest (actually quite a bit more, but I was trying not to cough so cut it short SORRY!), and I hope if you haven’t read these you’ll give it a chance, too.


Other Towel Day Goodness

Reverend61′s hilariously awesome Doctor Who/H²G² mashup:

Marvin, I Love You (my husband played me this song not long after we met):

Reasons to be Miserable:

Meg reading the introduction to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

Tonight I’ll be watching the BBC series, and of course I’ll finish my re-read.  What are your plans for my favourite holiday?  Share them (and your favourite series moments) in the comments!

Not So Bah Humbug

I always do what Heather tells me.

Okay, not always.  And this wasn’t even directed at me, specifically, but I know her and she’s very sneaky about getting what she wants…so it probably WAS directed at me, but she won’t ever come right out and say that.  Because that’s how she is.  Except for when she’s not.

So, by now I’m sure you’re all wondering just what I’m on about.

If you’re not already following the fabulously talented Heather D, pop on over to her blog today and read what she’s got to say about getting into the Christmas Spirit.

Now, I’m never full of holiday cheer (see last year’s post on the subject here) so, frankly, trying to come up with something for #6 on Heather’s list has had me in minor panic mode all day.

If you’re too lazy to click over there, this is what I’m referring to:

6) Share your memories. I love to talk about favorite Christmas memories. Bringing back the magic of my childhood warms my heart. Find someone to share your stories with, and listen to theirs. In fact, what I want most for Christmas is for my friends and loved ones to write out their favorite memories for me.

I had a mini-meltdown (they happen frequently when I’m sick) trying to come up with happy Christmas memories.  I don’t have many from my childhood, which is probably one of the myriad reasons I don’t care for this time of year.

See?  Magic.

See? Magic.

I almost decided to talk about the few years that we had season passes to Disneyland when my boys were younger, because the Magic Kingdom truly is magical in the winter, but passed that by in favour of a different story.

I’m warning you, now, though, it starts out a little sad.

5 or so years ago, I lost my job the week before Christmas.

At the time, my husband was recovering from an injury he’d received while on the job, and mine was our only income.  He stayed home with the kids, and I had a really good job that I’d been at for close to 6 years, but there were issues that I don’t need to go into here and now that led to my being fired right before the holidays.

Strangely for us, we’d already gone a bit overboard for Christmas that year.  We don’t generally go all out, but this year we had.  Most of the gifts we’d purchased ended up being returned or exchanged for their less elaborate counterparts.

I was totally distraught.  I’d been expecting to have a great Christmas (for once, something better than what I’d grown up with) and even though I’m usually not a commercial BUY ALL THE THINGS, BUY THEIR LOVE! type of parent, I’d wanted my boys to have ONE YEAR where they actually got the things they’d asked Santa for, damnit.

Anyway.  Fast forward to Christmas morning.

The oldest, of course, ripped into everything and exclaimed how much he loved everything (but this is the kid that was excited for receiving a BIG TUBE! one year, because he didn’t even think to look INSIDE the tube).

The littlies were mostly enthusiastic about the paper (smallest boy was only a little over a year old at the time)…until middle son opened what was LITERALLY the last thing purchased and wrapped.

A box of crayons and some colouring books.

He started colouring immediately.  He spent the ENTIRE DAY in his chair with his “colours” and didn’t want to eat or take a nap.  He just wanted to colour.

I’d been in tears the night before, not only because of the stress of losing my job, but because I felt like a crappy parent that couldn’t do anything nice for her kids for the holidays.  Watching his excitement and intensity with what amounted to a $3 gift is what brought me out of my holiday depression that day.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly down at this time of year, I look at this picture of him and remember how very little it takes to make him happy.

And then I try to be more like him.

Some Market Research


Megiggles and I have been discussing the possibility of getting Dodisharkicorn all gussied up for the holidays.

BUT, we kind of don’t want to go through all the trouble of creating stuff if no one is interested, so that’s where you come in.

Would you guys be interested in Dodisharkicorn holiday themed items in our shops?  Like, Santa Dodi ornaments and shirts and stuff?  Or do you think it’s a terrible idea that no one would every possibly be interested in?

OR ANOTHER OPTION.  Whatever, please vote and leave suggestions for things you’d like to see in the comments.

Thank you!